PHOTO INDEX -
Warning - Photos not suitable for those suffering from heart conditions, weak bowels, bed-wetting types or the Welsh.
In which we discover a boozer, pop in for a quick one and end up staying for ten years, lose someone entirely and accidentally break a chair. And an ashtray. And ourselves
In which no-one falls out with anyone, oh no, we go to a home game at 'The Other Place' and we learn more than is necessary about Scandinavian folk heroes. We might even have had a drink or two
In which we celebrate the union of a man and a woman - no, not like that. We find out where beloved artists from our childhood end up and what happens after too much grappa. It doesn't end well.
In which the Birmingham Boys in Brown are lauded as heroes, lose a game of footy to a team of girls and find a large, very amusing vegetable
In which we run around a lot and go purple, imitate Jimmy Saville (no, not like that) and discover an air guitar master
In which we make friends with an onanist pooch, shuffle paper in the drizzle, shout obscenities at an English-Canadian in German and smuggle alcohol onto a log flume. Oh yes. It's all sadly true
In which the Boys in Brown fail to stay at a hotel, startle an oompah band by the Rhine, have fun in a train's 'Disco Compartment', attempt the world record for ice-cream eating & someone goes AWOL for 23 hours
In which the Boys in Brown pull a barmaid, a para, several funny faces and two or three important muscles; shout at the worst taxi driver in the world, freeze half to death in Duisburg, spend two days with Ugly Betty and learn some staggeringly libellous rumours about a variety of football managers.
In which the Boys in Brown suffer collective amnesia about how much the crazy train ruins your soul, eat several tons of pork, make a face like an angry owl, sing songs about animals that Johnny Morris wouldn't like and laugh at enormous crocheted bedspreads